Do you ever find yourself, when you’re reading a book, creating a dream cast in your head? I mean, did Katniss look like JLaw when you read the books; was DanRad exactly the way you imagined Harry Potter; did you watch Divergent and think ‘well, that’s not *my* Four’? I do it all the time. ALL THE TIME. It’s part of my problem with adaptations I think, that I always have such a solid idea in my head of what my faves look like and it’s so rare that casting directors take my Very Important Opinions on board. Le sigh.
This time, in a twist on my usual ‘here are my thoughts on this book’ style review I figured I’d share my dream cast with you, because I've just finished A Court of Thorns and Roses and I’m kind of sat here thinking ‘make this film and cast these people oh my gracious.’
I loved it, by the way. L O V E D. It was one of those stopping up way too late to read just one more chapter kinds of books with this incredibly well crafted world and a kickass heroine and deftly drawn characters and sharp as nails dialogue and a love story that made me shiver like a love story should. It’s exactly what I wanted from a retelling of Beauty and the Beast: enough about it to exist as a story in its own right but with the source material still recognisable. I am so mad actually that now I have to do waiting for the next book (holy cliff hanger, batman) because I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.
In a nutshell then, if you want to know what the book is about, Feyre, our kickass heroine is out hunting to save her family from starving (dead Mum, crippled – and spineless – Dad, two next to useless sisters. That’s Feyre’s family) and kills a wolf. Which turns out to be a faerie. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?
Faeries and humans have had a hate-hate relationship for ALL OF TIME, harking back to times when faeries enslaved humans and there was an epic war for the freedom of the human race. It’s all really freaking awesome, the politics of it all and the detail that’s been put into this whole backstory – all this fae/human bad feeling, and the way that the different courts of faeries react to one another and the unifying fear of an unidentified Big Bad, it’s all really well done and makes this so much more than a Disney-esque love story. Anyway, Feyre kills the faerie/wolf which is Bad Times, obvs, and has to be punished. She’s given a choice by the Beast that comes to deal out her punishment: she can a: be killed then and there, or, b: she can go with him to live out the rest of her days as his prisoner. As the book would have ended a few chapters in had she chosen option A, Feyre chooses option B and heads off with The Beast, who turns out to be called Tamlin and, as per the good old Disney film, is less Beast-ish than he first appears. Etcetera etcetera until the end. Which made me want to throw my book at the wall because I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT DAMMIT.
So, in my head it turns out I’ve cast Feyre as Anna Paquin. I don’t know why, except that for some reason when I was reading, Feyre had Anna’s face. I really like Anna Paquin, and she has that curiously attractive thing going on that I think would totally work for Feyre and we already know she can handle badass attractive vampires and also y'know Wolverine, so a few faeries should be a walk in the park.
Even faeries like Tamlin who in my head is totally Stephen Amell. Not just because I’m a little Arrow crazy right now but because Tamlin is supposed to be big and strong and handsome and brooding and Stephen Amell is all of those things. Tamlin is the best kind of hero. He’s an awesome interpretation of The Beast, he’s distant and mean and brooding and so strong and tough and brave and I want to climb him like a tree and then he’s all gentle and awkward and then he’s so freaking hot. Urgh. You’re totally supposed to fall in love with Tamlin. You totally do.
Thing is, is that it’s not that kind of story where you fall for the hero and detest the baddie like you’re meant to at all. The thing is, is that in addition to our unlikely hero, you also have Lucien and Rhysand. & in my head they are equally attractive.
Lucien (who I love FYI) looks like Ian Somerhalder. Does that face not say to you sassy fairy? Lucien is an excellent character; he’s so brash and arrogant and snarky and then underneath all of that he’s so beautifully broken. Eurgh. I love him.
& then, there’s Rhysand – when Feyre first meets Rhys she describes him as the most beautiful man she ever saw. Well, hello Matt Bomer, actual real life Disney Prince. As soon as anybody says the most beautiful man…Matt Bomer springs to mind. Seriously, I don’t understand how he is even a real person. Textbook good looking that guy.
Also, it would be awesome to see Matt play The Bad Guy. *wanders off to watch more White Collar*
The thing about Rhysand – and I found myself drawn to him even though he’s a bastard; I find obnoxious men attractive (Helen, remember when that was our thing?) – is that you can’t quite figure out what side he’s on. Is he a good guy, is he a bad guy, what is his endgame? Currently I’m of the opinion that Rhys is on his own side, and I am hoping hoping we get more of him in the next book. I actually think asshattery aside (or maybe because of it) that he might be my fave...
Amarantha is The Baddest Ever. She’s like, Evil Queen x infinity. What a bitch. In my head she looks like Lana Parilla, but that might be because Lana plays The Evil Queen so deliciously well on OUAT. You know who else would be cool? Cate Blanchett.
Feyre’s Dad looks like Robert Carlyle but I am aware this is only because he’s very reminiscent of OUAT’s Rumplstiltskin pre losing Baelfire and her little sister Elain is totally Evy Lynch-like.
Which leaves big sister Nesta and the fairy maid Alis and you know what? I’m not entirely sure.
So there you have it and now I feel kind of bad because if you read this before you read the actual book you might be unfairly influenced and that would make me feel awful. Except not really because you know, Stephen Amell, Ian Somerhalder, Matt Bomer. It could be worse. Right? Right.
Read this book, read it because it’s excellent and then come back and tell me if you agree with my choices and if you don’t (and I won’t judge you, much) who would you cast instead?