Do you ever find yourself, when you’re reading a book,
creating a dream cast in your head? I mean, did Katniss look like JLaw when you
read the books; was DanRad exactly the way you imagined Harry Potter; did you
watch Divergent and think ‘well, that’s not *my* Four’?
I do it all the time. ALL THE TIME. It’s part of my problem with adaptations I
think, that I always have such a solid idea in my head of what my faves look
like and it’s so rare that casting directors take my Very Important Opinions on
board. Le sigh.
This time, in a twist on my usual ‘here are my thoughts on
this book’ style review I figured I’d share my dream cast with you, because I've just finished A Court of Thorns and
Roses and I’m kind of sat here thinking ‘make this film and cast
these people oh my gracious.’
I loved it, by the way. L O V E D. It was one of those
stopping up way too late to read just one more chapter
kinds of books with this incredibly well crafted world and a kickass heroine
and deftly drawn characters and sharp as nails dialogue and a love story that
made me shiver like a love story should. It’s exactly what I wanted from a
retelling of Beauty and the Beast: enough about
it to exist as a story in its own right but with the source material still
recognisable. I am so mad actually
that now I have to do waiting for the next book (holy cliff hanger, batman)
because I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.
In a nutshell then, if you want to know what the book is
about, Feyre, our kickass heroine is out hunting to save her family from
starving (dead Mum, crippled – and spineless – Dad, two next to useless
sisters. That’s Feyre’s family) and kills a wolf. Which turns out to be a
faerie. Don’t you just hate it when
that happens?
Faeries and humans have had a hate-hate relationship for ALL
OF TIME, harking back to times when faeries enslaved humans and there was an
epic war for the freedom of the human race. It’s all really freaking awesome,
the politics of it all and the detail that’s been put into this whole backstory
– all this fae/human bad feeling, and the way that the different courts of
faeries react to one another and the unifying fear of an unidentified Big Bad,
it’s all really well done and makes this so much more than a Disney-esque love
story. Anyway, Feyre kills the faerie/wolf which is Bad Times, obvs, and has to
be punished. She’s given a choice by the Beast that comes to deal out her
punishment: she can a: be killed then and there, or, b: she can go with him to
live out the rest of her days as his prisoner. As the book would have ended a
few chapters in had she chosen option A, Feyre chooses option B and heads off
with The Beast, who turns out to be called Tamlin and, as per the good old
Disney film, is less Beast-ish than he first appears. Etcetera etcetera until
the end. Which made me want to throw my book at the wall because I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT DAMMIT.
So, in my head it turns out I’ve cast Feyre as Anna Paquin.
I don’t know why, except that for some reason when I was reading, Feyre had
Anna’s face. I really like Anna Paquin, and she has that curiously attractive
thing going on that I think would totally work for Feyre and we already know
she can handle badass attractive vampires and also y'know Wolverine, so a few faeries should be a walk in
the park.
Even faeries like Tamlin who in my head is totally Stephen Amell. Not
just because I’m a little Arrow crazy
right now but because Tamlin is supposed to be big and strong and handsome and
brooding and Stephen Amell is all of those things. Tamlin is the best kind of
hero. He’s an awesome interpretation of The Beast, he’s distant and mean and
brooding and so strong and tough and brave and I want to
climb him like a tree and then he’s all gentle and awkward and then
he’s so freaking hot. Urgh. You’re totally
supposed to fall in love with Tamlin. You totally do.
Thing is, is that it’s not that kind of story where you fall
for the hero and detest the baddie like you’re meant to at all. The thing is,
is that in addition to our unlikely hero, you also have Lucien and Rhysand.
& in my head they are equally attractive.
Lucien (who I love FYI) looks
like Ian Somerhalder. Does that face not say to you sassy fairy?
Lucien is an excellent character; he’s so brash and arrogant and snarky and
then underneath all of that he’s so beautifully broken.
Eurgh. I love him.
& then, there’s Rhysand – when Feyre first meets Rhys
she describes him as the most beautiful man she
ever saw. Well, hello Matt Bomer, actual real life Disney Prince. As
soon as anybody says the most beautiful man…Matt
Bomer springs to mind. Seriously, I don’t understand how he is even a real
person. Textbook good looking that guy.
Also, it would be awesome to see Matt play The Bad Guy. *wanders off to watch more White Collar*
The thing about Rhysand – and I found myself drawn to him
even though he’s a bastard; I find obnoxious men attractive (Helen, remember
when that was our thing?) – is that you can’t quite figure out what side he’s
on. Is he a good guy, is he a bad guy, what is his endgame?
Currently I’m of the opinion that Rhys is on his own
side, and I am hoping hoping we get
more of him in the next book. I actually think asshattery aside (or maybe because of it) that he might be my fave...
Amarantha is The Baddest Ever. She’s like, Evil Queen x
infinity. What a bitch. In my head she looks like Lana Parilla, but that might
be because Lana plays The Evil Queen so deliciously well on OUAT. You know who
else would be cool? Cate Blanchett.
Feyre’s Dad looks like Robert Carlyle but I am aware this is
only because he’s very reminiscent of OUAT’s Rumplstiltskin pre losing Baelfire
and her little sister Elain is totally Evy Lynch-like.
Which leaves big sister Nesta and the fairy maid Alis and
you know what? I’m not entirely sure.
So there you have it and now I feel kind of bad because if
you read this before you read the actual book you might be unfairly influenced
and that would make me feel awful. Except not really because you know, Stephen
Amell, Ian Somerhalder, Matt Bomer. It could be worse. Right? Right.
Read this book, read it because it’s excellent and then come
back and tell me if you agree with my choices and if you don’t (and I won’t judge
you, much) who would you cast instead?
